Getting married

I’m a big supporter of equal rights.

I like the idea of marriage. I am married and I have babies. I don’t think anyone should be denied a legal right to marriage. I also don’t think the law has any constitutional room to define any restrictions based on race, gender, or religion. So, for the purposes of this post and my sanity, we’ll only assume the law’s definition of marriage is the contractual union of two people to live in cohabitation and share assets, providing one the authority to make life decisions in the event of one’s spouse’s incapacitation and receive benefits and liabilities upon death of one’s spouse. Plus, the coveted tax break.

The legal contract to love, honor and cherish another human being is ridiculous. No other legal contract in this country takes jurisdiction over emotions. So, the legal contract needs to pertain only to the sharing of personal assets and provide the statement of cohabitation in order to qualify for all the goodies. I don’t have any argument with that. It seems like a sensible document to complete with someone whose life you’re merging with your own. There’s no need for an exchange of jewelery to seal this deal. The notarized signatures are enough!

This means that gay people can be legally married and receive the same contractual terms as partners who are heterosexual. It’s cold, impersonal and everything that a legally binding contract should be. It will also ease up on divorce being such an emotional battleground.

This allows the romance of religious marriage, with all the emotional vows in the presence of God who gives his blessing, to be solely a religious marriage. This empowers the Churches, each and every one, to marry who they believe should and should not be married within their walls. I even maintain that couples can marry without a legal contract. Those couples will not receive the legal benefits provided in the contract, but they will be spiritually married.

Please understand that I consider gay marriage a simple matter of equality and why there’s so much fuss about it is well beyond my comprehension. I view it as hateful and political mongering to withhold a basic legal right from people based on religiously maligned political manipulations. So, when I talk about gay people deserving gay marriage, I say with it an unspoken “duh”.

Now, I’d like to move on to something I consider controversial: Polygamy.

I have no beef with polygamy. I understand that it can be perverse and susceptible to coercion of young women. However, as long as the woman is of a legal age, there is little that can be argued. Young twenty-somethings marry ninety-something millionaires in hopes of swiping some inheritance. Without a way to stop that immorality, I think we’re without hope of eradicating the problem regardless of religious justification.

As the laws are now, I have little understanding for why polygamy is illegal if there is only one legal marriage in the plural marriage. There are married men who cheat and sometimes have children outside of their current wedlock. Those men usually get divorced once the wife finds out; but, besides the assumed divorced, is a man ever arrested for cheating on his wife? Why should he then be arrested for being in a relationship with another woman while legally married? How is that the government’s business at all for as long as the man has claimed paternity for any children and is providing accordingly?

These compound situations strike me as crazy and I’m not a fan of religion that’s organized to an extreme of being a corporation. I also consider polygamy a sin. With that said, why not provide some legislative language that establishes legal protection for the consenting adult women and men involved in plural marriage? Allow the legal contract to extend to additional spouses or provide a plural spouses contract that issues similar rights to the first spouse. Then the Churches can decide who they want to marry within their walls with God’s blessing and have everybody pass around the symbolic jewelery.

Why is it such a big deal?


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