Money issue

Money’s an issue. Money’s always an issue. And it’s funny because money is an issue because it’s not really an issue. Money’s never been my top priority. It’s nice to not have to worry about paying the utilities bill or buying something a little extra once in a while as a treat, but I never wanted to be rich or famous. Well known and liked, sure. I never fantasized about the dual big mansions on both coasts or having a problem selecting a decorator for my villa in Tuscany.

I wanted two things in an equal alteration:
1. A small apartment in the downtown of a historic city. I’d be in walking distance to nightlife, all functional business, and breath-taking architecture. I would want my place very small and my property minimal so I’d have as little worry and distraction as possible.
2. A nice enough home on 10+ acres of land. I’d want to farm and keep animals as I decided would be best. I wanted enough land to manage it. The house would be comfortable, not too big and not too small. A place with lots of storage options and the ability to modernize at will. I’ve always been in love with the rapid progress of solar power.

I’d love if all the major appliances in my current house were on solar power. It’d be a tremendous savings.

The rub is that because I don’t devote the majority of my time to earning as much money as possible, we don’t have as much money as possible and money becomes an issue. The issues keep me away. My priority has always been my family. I spend a lot of time with my children and so the question I ask is, “Can I earn enough at a job that will cover the costs of child care and my transportation expenses and have the remaining income justify being away from my kids for that time?” At times the answer to that question has been “yes.” and I’ve gone to work. Now, well, I don’t know if it’s the market or what but nothing comes close to what I’d consider.

When I think about it, it’s frustrating. I don’t care about money, but I want to get paid.

I worked for lawyers for over two years and not once did any of them ask me to lie. I worked for a real estate agent for one month and was scolded for not lying. Nobody can pay me enough to lie for them. I think employers who expect employees to lie, punish them for not lying, or lie themselves are not to be trusted in business. It is better to seek out another job than to be stuck with such daily uncertainty and lack of trust.

Yet having money issues yields its own lack of trust and uncertainty. The imbalance and lack of control is maddening. It is literally maddening. Studies have shown that normally well-balanced individuals will make an increasing number of accounting and spending mistakes when their budget is under stress. The less money you have, the more you’ll mess up, then your bank can charge you fees and you will have even lesser money…

Isn’t it amazing how that’s perfectly legal?

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