The Catholic Country Club

Something that I find ironic is that when I was Catholic, I felt on the outside due to the person God matched me with, who wasn’t a born and raised Catholic like I was. Now that I’m Episcopalian, I only feel on the outside with my Catholic friends.

My best friend is a devoted Catholic and I feel no such alienation from her but she’s about the only Catholic that’s like that. It seems that Catholics will hold a bad person closer to them than a good person if the bad person is Catholic. It’s odd but I think it’s a manifestation of the “country club” exclusivity that’s ingrained so deeply into the Catholic psyche. This is perhaps the only way that I feel Catholics fail society as Christians in this day. All other problems and complaints will stem from a Catholic’s inability to see equals beyond the label.

It’s a shame. When I was converting to an Episcopalian, I wasn’t asked to change my Roman Catholic faith but I was asked to consider more tolerant and meaningful understandings of tradition and worship. Honestly, I still haven’t changed a thing about what I believe or how I worship. The only differences are that I now have a Book of Common Prayer with which I can follow along with all the services and that I no longer have a mortal person blocking me from God, telling me I’m not good enough for him.

None of us are good enough God at any point in our lives. Even after baptism, we sin. Even after confession, we sin. There is no point where a mortal human being is not existing in sin. All we can do is continually try. We don’t do that by judging anyone else.

My given name is the french version of a Saint’s name. It means, “God is my judge.” I’m not surprised that I assume it’s my birthright to reject any person’s attempt to judge me about my relationship with God.

Mind you, I am aware of how opinionated I am. I do so because I am concerned with the messages being spread to fellow Christians from various sources and concerned that these sources are not genuine. It’s called discernment and I only say something when I’m sure. I’m not going to claim I’m better or holier than anyone else and I’m fine if someone wants to think I’m hypocritical because I judge those who judge. Just know that I’m aware that we all sin, myself included, and that this is a pocket issue of mine.

The thorn in my paw was removed by a mouse over two years ago but there’s still a tenderness to that old wound that hurt when I trusted someone or cared about someone and was wrong to do it. We all take that risk with anyone but, in this particular case, it feeds a bigger issue that was irritating that old wound more. It wasn’t until I started writing this post that I realized what I was really upset about.

I do thank God for my best friend who is Catholic the way Catholic is done. She’s a lovely Christian and a blessing to all who know her. Her husband too can be included in this compliment bubble. I wish I wasn’t so frustrated by everyone who’s not her or her husband.

People make my ass twitch.

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